Feeling unhappy, constantly dissatisfied, overwhelmed, not having the time for yourself are more than obvious signs you need to change your life. If you’re feeling like that, you need to do something about it ASAP. My posts Be Satisfied With Your Life and How To Live Better can help you get started.
However, there are many signs we live with for a long time before we even notice that they are trying to tell us something. Or we simply choose to ignore them. Or even worse, we convince ourselves that that’s exactly how we want our lives to be, but deep down we know it’s not.
The only way to make your life better is to start changing it. Because if you don’t, if you choose to ignore the signs that tell that you need to change your life, you can`t complain.
“ What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.” – Maya Angelou
If you are not going to be honest with yourself, it’s hard to move forward with your life. If, while reading the list of hidden signs, which I’m going to talk about next, your every thought starts with ‘Yes, but…’ or you think to yourself that people don’t understand you and the reasons you’re doing something, it means you need to sit down and have a serious conversation with yourself.
Here are 10 hidden signs you need to change your life. Read it and be as honest as you can, no matter how hard it is. It’s your life, it will not be easy. But once you start to change it, your life will be much easier.
Related post: Take Control Over Your Life With These 4 Steps
1. Does other people’s happiness make you happy?
When you hear that someone you know succeeded in doing something, how does it make you feel? Are you happy for them? Maybe a little bit jealous? Or you react by searching for reasons why that person accomplished that? And you conclude with a thought that anyone (you) under those circumstances would accomplish the same. Do you ever call that person to congratulate?
We should all look at other people’s success as an inspiration (if they did it, so can I) and not look for excuses to why it was easier for them. If you do that, you can never move on in your life.
2. Do you think that life is easier for others?
As I said, thinking that life is easier for others won’t take you anywhere. If you want to compare yourself to other people, try looking for the ones whose life was harder than yours. How far did they go from their starting point?
There is not a single person in the world without his/her own problems. I always say that everything starts from a certain point of view (I even named my blog One Point of View) and trust me, there are many points of view that make your life look as easy and as beautiful as it can get.
3. Is your opinion too often different from others?
If this is the case, it usually means you want to prove something. Whether is it proving to yourself or to other people. This is only a problem if it’s happening too often. And by too often, I mean almost every time you meet with your friends.
For example, your friends talk about someone who is doing something they think it’s wrong. Since, deep down inside, you know you need to change something in your life, you will find yourself in that story, or even believe that they are actually talking to or about you. By disagreeing with them, you’re actually telling them that everything is great in your life. Or, the worse case scenario, convincing yourself the same.
The same thing happens if they are talking about someone who did something great. You think “Why do they talk about someone else, when I have a great life, too”. Well, maybe you don’t look as happy as you keep trying to look.
4. Do you think you set a good example?
While it is not our assignment to teach people and be an example for them, this is a question everyone should be asking themselves from time to time. Just quickly review your life over the past few months. How did you act, react and basically led your life? You’d be amazed by how it can make you feel good and proud of yourself. Or it can be an excellent wake-up call. If you have kids, this is a question you need to ask yourself every day.
If you start to avoid the answer or feel the need to justify it, it means you need to change something in your life.
5. Do you make excuses often?
There’s a great article on Psychology Today about people who make excuses which says “By making up an excuse, in other words, we cover our tracks and don’t have to admit to a personal weakness or failing.” Making excuses too often is certainly a sign a change needs to be made.
You’re either consciously hiding something you think people shouldn’t know or you don’t have enough confidence to speak about it. In both cases, you need to work on it.
6. Do you have someone to talk to…honestly?
Let’s get right to the point here. If you don’t have someone to talk to, you’re either ashamed or hiding something. A sign you need to change your life? Definitely!
Everyone and I mean everyone, should have a few people they can have an honest conversation with. Why a few people and not just one? Because who will you talk to when that one person annoys you?
You need to have someone you can talk to about your husband, then someone else (and that can be your husband) you can talk to about your siblings, then you can talk to your siblings about your parents etc. It’s hard to find, if not impossible, only one person who can perfectly understand you in every aspect of your life.
7. Do you notice health changes?
Leading a stressful life, not having the time for yourself, always trying to please everybody, means leading an unhealthy life. If you notice health changes, besides going to the doctors (which is unquestionable), maybe you should think about where did it come from. A lot of people even gain weight due to a stressful life.
We all deal with stress, everyone to the point that they can handle. When it comes to the point that is too much for us, we’re exhausted and we need to refill our batteries. Some people take their ‘me-time’, some call a friend they can talk to and get it out of their system and some people eat. And that is their pleasure due to a lack of every other pleasure. I see how this is really a hidden sign you need to change your life. But think about it before it gets too hard to go back.
8. Are you avoiding ‘free’ time?
This might be a sign that’s hardest to notice. If you feel a sudden need to read as many books as you can, clean your house more often, cook a lot, go out all the time, staying late at work, it can easily mean that you’re avoiding free time. Because when you’re doing nothing, you have the time to think about the things you don’t want to think about.
This can work for some time, but not for long. Eventually, you’ll have to face those things.
9. Is there someone who has a big influence on you?
With so many different opinions and points of view to life, it can be hard to have your own. But we are grown people, we have to know who we are. We have to have an opinion. Our own, not a mix of other people’s thoughts.
Sure, we can look at someone as an inspiration (we should look for an inspiration all the time), we can even aspire to be like someone. But that doesn’t mean we don’t have anything to offer to the world. Yes, maybe you’re better at something than me, but I’m certainly great at something else. Respect mine, and I will respect yours.
10. Are you growing?
When you look at 10-15 years before now, how has your life changed? Are you proud of what you’ve accomplished? Are you happier now? What are your plans for the next 5 years? Do you have any? So many questions and they all need to be answered.
It’s never easy to change the way we live our lives. Some people do it because they want to make their lives even better. So they start to exercise, eat healthier, spend more time with their families etc. Others need to do it just to make their life good or less bad.
Start to change your life with baby steps. Start it by doing something for yourself and don’t feel guilty for doing it. Think about when was the last time you laughed yourself to tears. Look at yourself as someone who deserves to be truly happy. Change your point of view to your life. Happiness is not for other people. It’s for everybody.
When you believe in something, you always look for the signs to prove you’re right. So, believe you’re worth it.
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