How to know if a guy likes you – even if you can`t see the signs

How to know if a guy likes

When you Google How to know if a guy likes you, every single article on the first page talks about the signs that tell if he likes you. While I agree that there are signs (same for most people) that show with almost 100% certainty that one person is into another, I also believe that if you’re looking for the signs while you are around someone you like, you show insecurity. And we want to avoid that.

There is one other important thing about these signs. They are so obvious to everybody except the person who is googling how to know if a guy likes you:-). Funny, but true. So, with all that in mind, I want to show you a different point of view on this subject so you can focus on achieving your goal. Which, in most cases, is to go out with a guy.

I just have a question I want you to answer before we move on. Since you are reading an article called How to know if a guy likes you, I am assuming that there is a guy that you like. If, after reading this and maybe some other articles, your conclusion is that he likes you, what will you do? Will you ask him out or wait for him to do it? Or will you give up if the conclusion is different? What is your goal?

Let me be the first to answer. If there was a guy I like (let’s assume I’m single😄) and I think he might like me too, my goal would be him asking me out:-). Think about it for a second!

Related: 3 Steps On How To Be Confident On A First Date

You’re asking the wrong question

When I started to write this post, I imagined a group of 4 girls, best friends, at a party, or maybe even at home sitting together, drinking wine, talking about guys and relationships. And you know how it usually goes…at one point, the topic always goes on some guy, that one of those girls has fallen for. And now she’s wondering what’s the situation with him – does he like her, maybe he said something to her she’s not sure what it means, he looked at her in a way it made her confused… Then the other girls start to analyze his actions. ‘Wait, did he say it like this or like that?’ ‘Was he looking in your eyes when he said it?’ and the list of questions goes on. And all in order to find out if he likes her. Like everything is up to him.

How To Know If a Guy Likes You

If you came here searching for the answer on how to know if a guy likes you, it means that you already have some kind of connection with him. Instead of looking for a yes or no answer, you should think about the things you think he might like about you. Is it your smile? Maybe the way you talk? Or the way you look? Your sense of humor?

You know how sometimes you see a gorgeous girl with a guy who is, well, not all that gorgeous🙈. Or vice versa. And then we comment it with questions like ‘what does she sees in him?’ or something like that. Well, she saw something, she wouldn’t be with him if she didn’t. I am saying this for all those girls who are not satisfied with how they look and think that a guy doesn’t like them because of it. I am going to tell you something: your appearance can never be a reason for someone not to like you, but the way you act, can. I wrote about this more in my post How to end negative self-talk.

So, instead of asking does he like you, you should ask ‘what does he like about me?’. If I was to ask you to tell me one positive thing about someone you don’t particularly like, I am 100% sure you would find something. Because there isn’t a person in this world who doesn’t have something special in her. Maybe not every person sees it, but the ones that should, do.

How to know if a guy likes you-OnePointofView

What does he like about you?

Maybe you already know the answer to this question. He might have told you already or maybe you noticed it through his actions. If you don’t, start thinking about it. It can be so many things. It can be the way you look at him, how you blush when someone gives you a compliment, the way you talk, the way you pronounce a specific word, your hair, the way you walk, your clumsiness:-) etc.

When you find some answers, you automatically answered your first question ‘how to know if a guy likes you’. Second, now you can focus on the main thing which is, getting him to ask you out.

What is the next step?

Now that you know this, don’t be shy when showing the things he likes about you. Don’t push it:-), but it’s ok to put a focus on that a little more. You can be confident, that’s never a bad thing and besides, you know he likes you, why wouldn’t you be.

One other very important thing – while it is not easy for us to be confident, we expect them to be so confident to ask us out even if we didn’t show that we like them too. That’s a little unfair, don’t you think? Most guys will ask a girl out only if he is 90% sure she will say yes. So, girl, you need to show you care. This doesn’t have to be an obvious thing. Just a little thing like smiling at his jokes, looking him straight in the eyes, some body language…

And then, when he asks you out, you can come back here and read my post 3 steps on how to be confident on a first date?

Have you thought about it like this? What are your thoughts on this?

For more inspiration, read my post How to end negative self-talk

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  1. Yes! So many times we girls expect guys to make first steps without showing them even slightly that we like them.

  2. I like the comment “like everything is up to him”! If I like someone I wanna “help” him found out that he also likes me 😉 and encourage him to make the next step!

  3. Ooh this reminds me of the struggles I had whilst dating, I could never tell if a guy really liked me! Sometimes I would think they did and never hear back from them again!

    1. I think deep down we know if someone likes us or not so much. But sometimes we want it to be like that so much that we won’t admit ourselves how it really is. Then later, when we are over it, we see that the click between us never really happened:-)

  4. My tell-tale sign a guy was into me? If he asked me questions. I kid you not, I can’t even tell you how many first dates I went on where the guy only talked about himself. I knew my husband was the one for me when there was a genuine back and forth. x

    1. Haha…those were some fun dates😄😄 After the first date like that you don’t even want to know if he likes you. You don’t like him anymore and that’s it:-) case closed😊

  5. “What does he like about you?” is a better question. Overall though, I am so tired of dating. It’s so much easier when around people who are straight forward and know what they want. Too bad more aren’t like that when dating.

    1. Well said, Laurie. I am always for straight forward. But I guess people think it wouldn’t be as interesting as it apparently is when you have to guess it.🤔😊

  6. If a guy is interested in you he will let you know by his actions more than his words, especially if he is on the shy side. If you like him, give him a smile, that will encourage him. You do have to date someone and spend some time with them to find out if they really like you, or if they are just trying to see how many women they can pick up for their own ego boost.

    1. I agree with that! A smile always encourages people. That’s why I always say everyone to smile more. It’s good for everybody.:-)

  7. This is something to go by I think most of us have been there. It reminds me of a post I did a long time ago, coming from a humorous side. 🙂

    1. This is always a fun topic to talk about:-) I mean, I am married and have 3 kids:-), but get asked about this a lot, so I decided to write down the things I tell to everyone who asks me:-)

  8. Frankly I think I’m lucky I’m a happily married woman LOL! Otherwise I’d be totally lost. I don’t know if I can handle the whole do they like me/do I like them dance anymore. It’s a lot of fun though and I agree, it’s not all up to him.

    1. Haha… I actually love to remember those times! You know, the butterflies and all😊💕 I am also lucky that I have a husband who does that to me even after 15 years being together:-)

  9. I was always the one pining after people who I thought did not like me so therefore I never let them know. But who knows they might have liked me and were too scared to take the next step, like you said it is not just up to the guy to figure out what happens next!

    1. You might be right about that! Unless it is a love at first sight:-), not many people have the courage to ask someone out or to show them they like them without even a tiny sign that they will recieve a positive feedback.

  10. I’m gonna let you in on a dirty little secret. The biggest key to winning a guy’s heart is to simply find something he’s passionate about and go all in with support for him…That’s usually what gets me at least.

  11. it should not be mandatory that a guy will show his love towards any girl as there are some guys who are very shy to express and I guess girls should sometimes go first .

    1. I agree with you, that’s why I said that it isn’t everything up to the guy. Altough it is more common for a guy to show affection first and I have to say that I like it that way.😄

  12. hmm, what about if there is this guy but he doesn´t live in the same city and we only have contact via messages. I´m still confused 😩 there is something missing in my brain to notice when I guy likes me.

    1. Haha… if your only contact is via phone or SMS, you should ask him not so obvious questions that you want to know the answer to. I mean, that’s a subject for a whole new post, but this is just a tip:-)

      1. Ahhh…I knew that there wouldn’t be an easy answer. ;-P It´ s such a confusing situation with him. Next opportunity to see each other is around Christmas as he will come around to visit his family who lives here and already talked about meeting up again. But it is a long time to go and maybe he will forget me during that time… ahhh… it drives me crazy.

        1. Well, I don’t know the whole situation with him, but I know this for sure:
          1. Don’t let him forget you. Remind him from time to time that you are here. Send him some funny SMS or something like that. I don’t know what kind of relationship you two have, but think of some excuse to contact him.
          2. It’s not everything up to him. You have the power. You are a catch too, not just him. He would be happy to be with you. He’s not doing you a favor if he takes you out. Remember, when he asks you out, it’s not all over for him, he still has to wait for your answer. And you could say no. So it’s not easy for him too. So, be confident, and you’ll know what to do.

          1. Thanks for the tip and encouraging me to stay in his mind somehow. we had a really good and nice chat yesterday evening. 🙂 Will see what comes out of this.

          2. Pia, I’m glad if I could help, even a little bit:-) It nice to hear that you are happy with your conversation. I wish you that everything turns out the way you want it. ❤️❤️

  13. This would’ve been helpful when I was single, haha! Men can be so confusing!

  14. I don’t remember it being this difficult! I am quite lucky that my husband has always been a bit of an open book and we are very honest about how we feel!

  15. I remember when this was me and my Husband! I remember my best Friend telling me that we needed our heads banging together as I was asking her if it sounded like he “was interested in me” after we went to the movies on one night (he paid) and then for dinner (casual) another night that week (he paid) I’d never had a Boyfriend before so I was clueless but hopeful… it worked out lol 🙂

    1. Haha…you are a great example for when everyone sees the signs he likes you, except for the one who is asking the question ‘Does he like me?’😄 I’m glad it worked out for you!👍🏻

  16. Sometimes there are many signs, etc. However, the best is to not assume but directly ask the person. At least no more vague signals.

    1. Oh, just a few people have the courage to ask directly. Including me, I have to say🙈 That’s why I always chose a different approach!😄

  17. That moment when med school keeps you way too busy to even consider if someone likes you back or not. Scratch that, you don’t even have the time to like someone for them to like you back xD I honestly miss the old days when we had pajama parties to talk about these kinda stuff and analyse each one’s behavior to decide whether they like us or not.
    Great tips btw

    1. 🙂 Well, at least you’re going to med school. You’re not wasting your time. Things like this come when you least expect them. Save this post for when the time comes:-) I wish you all the luck with med school.💛

  18. All those articles are so silly anyway! They’re filled with ambiguous things that don’t mean much anyway (or unmeasurable things like “his pupils dilate when he sees you.”) God, the number of times I went through those in middle school haha. Definitely better to just learn the person.

  19. My advice to my daughter is to judge people by their actions; if someone acts like they don’t care then believe them and walk away. Don’t waste time on people who leave you wondering.

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