There are a lot of people who are very open about their problems and don’t mind telling them to random people. On the other hand, there are people who feel the same way but keep everything inside. Neither is good. And the most important thing is that all of those people are not satisfied with their lives or some points of it and think that they can’t do anything about it. Or simply don’t know what to do.
To be completely honest with you, I never understood why a lot of people like to complain so much. Yes, like to complain! Did you know that an average person complains 15-30 times a day? Wow! I call them complainers:-). And when you ask them how they’re doing, the answer is never: ‘Great! And you?’. It is always one of the complaining versions: Oh, don’t ask, my boss is terrible, my husband is lazy, my kids are driving me crazy and so on.
I always want to ask them ‘Why are you doing it to yourself? Not only that you have a problem (which they complain about), but you put yourself more down by talking about it all the time to everyone and not concentrating on handling it.’ But then I realized, people who complain so much to other people actually think that it makes them look strong. You know “Here I am, dealing with all of these problems, and I am still standing.” They are not aware that the dealing with the problem part is the one that makes them strong, not the ‘telling it to other people’ part.
And just to be clear, I don’t think that a person who complains to a friend once in a while is a complainer. Actually, I think it’s a good thing to get it out of your system from time to time.
If you don’t know what to do in a certain situation, find one or two people you trust are going to help you to deal with it. Don’t tell your problems to everyone. You don’t want people feeling sorry for you all the time.
So, if you are one of the complainers, stop doing it. And I’ll tell you why:
- No one likes a complainer
- Complaints become your state of mind
- You are never satisfied
- Complainers spread negativity to people around them
And I can go on and on about the reasons why not to complain, but I want to focus on how good it is on the other side and why/how we should turn our negativity to positivity. And all in order to be more satisfied with our lives.
COMPLAINERS vs. POSITIVE THINKERS
On the other hand, positive thinkers are not complaining, not because they are hiding something from people, it is because they are handling their problems. They are doing it by changing it or accepting it, changing their point of view to the situation, the thing or something else.
For example, I talked to a colleague of mine one morning while drinking coffee and she told me: “Can you believe my luck? I almost had a car accident this morning. This guy was driving right at me and at the last moment he turned left. He was like 1 meter from me. Why do these things always happen to me?” I told her: “ Oh my God, can you believe your luck? You avoided a huge accident.” She looked at me, smiled(because I talk to her a lot about positive thinking) and said: “You again with your points of view…but you’re right. I was lucky.” The rest of the day she started this story like this: “ Today is my lucky day…” True story.
See, I felt good after this and she felt even better. A positive thinker wins!:-)
CHANGE YOUR LIFE…OR ACCEPT IT THE WAY IT IS
People are often dissatisfied and doing nothing about it. Not because they are lazy or just don’t feel like it. It is because they are so focused on the problem that they don’t see a possible solution. I like to say that every story starts with the point of view. So you should always think about how would your problem look to someone else.
For example, if you don’t like your job, a person who doesn’t have a job is considering you a lucky one just for having a job. So, hold on to that thought before you find another job where you will be happier and more satisfied. But that another job is not going to find you, you have to find it by yourself. Further on, if you don’t have a job and looking for one, there are people who would be pretty happy to have your qualifications and used them wisely. Are you sure you did everything in your power to find a job of your dreams?
If there is something about your husband/boyfriend that annoys you, don’t let the first thing to be ‘Oh my God, I will not tolerate this my whole life.’. Try accepting it. I mean, he must have other virtues that you like. Or think of it like this ‘If I break up with him, what does the other guy has to be like for me to be happy and satisfied?’ Does person like that even exist? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. At the end of the day, you have to decide. Will you accept it or will you change it?
I am aware that every problem is different, but there is always a way to change negative to positive. Always. Whether you get out of that situation or you start to look at it differently. And whatever the decision it will be, it has to be good for you, it has to make you satisfied in the long-term. And don’t regret later. I never regret my choices. Would I make some things different now? Absolutely! But when I made these decisions, they were always the best ones I could make at a given moment. I didn’t know then what I know now. So never regret. There is nothing you can do now.
Even Maya Angelou said:
“ What you’re supposed to do when you don’t like a thing is change it. If you can’t change it, change the way you think about it. Don’t complain.”